No leader enjoys receiving negative feedback, especially when it comes through poor engagement results or confronting team insights. The instinctive reaction is often defensiveness. Yet how a leader responds in that moment shapes trust, culture, and performance more than the feedback itself.
This happened recently for a leader I am working with. Their first thoughts were:
🗯 “They don’t see how hard I work.”
🗯 “That’s not fair.”
🗯 “They just want to complain.”
Totally normal. But not useful.
We took time to acknowledge the sting, process the reaction, and shift toward action — a step that many leaders struggle to take on their own, and where team coaching for leaders can often provide the space and structure to move from reaction to clarity.
By the end, they landed here:
💭 “I’m going to get curious about the data and feedback.”
💭 “I will acknowledge that this is how they feel.”
💭 “I want to include them in the solution because this is a team issue.”
Defensiveness is a barrier – to connection, learning, and action. It shuts down the very conversations that create improvement, and it often signals a lack of psychological safety in teams, where people do not feel safe to speak openly or challenge constructively.
Deliberate leaders take a different approach. They pause, reflect, and respond – rather than react. This shift from instinct to intention is what ultimately shapes trust and team performance over time, and sits at the core of how deliberate teams build trust and results. Here’s how:
Five Deliberate Ways To Respond To Poor Engagement
✨Separate Yourself From The Score
Engagement feedback reflects the team’s experience – not your value as a leader. It’s tempting to take it personally, but the more useful stance is curiosity. What’s really going on for your team?
Ask: “What are they telling me about what it’s like to work here?”
🙏 Say Thank You (Even If It’s Hard)
Acknowledging feedback – without dismissing or defending – is a powerful first step. Share results openly and thank them for their honesty. This alone builds trust.
Try: “This isn’t easy to hear, but I appreciate the honesty. Let’s talk about it and work on it together.”
🔍 Get Specific
Poor results are only helpful if you unpack them. Invite the team to help you understand the “why” behind the feedback. Use team meetings or one-on-ones to ask open questions. Listen more than you speak. You’re not solving in the moment – you’re seeking insight.
👬 Own Your Part
Your team doesn’t expect perfection, but they do expect accountability. If something could have been handled better, own it. Your example sets the tone for the team.
💡 Co-Create The Way Forward
Don’t fix it for your team – fix it with them.
Ask: “What’s one thing we could try together to improve this?”
Start small. Focus on what’s within your control. Follow through.
Sustaining Trust After Difficult Feedback
Poor engagement isn’t solved by a one-time survey – it requires consistent, deliberate action. Keep checking in. Keep asking. And keep showing up.
Trust is not rebuilt through intention alone, but through visible follow-through and consistency over time. This is where many leaders fall short — not in recognising the issue, but in sustaining the response long enough to shift the experience of the team.
Poor feedback isn’t a leadership failure – it’s a leadership opportunity. What matters is how you respond. So be deliberate. Let the sting settle, then lean into the work that matters.
And if you’re finding it difficult to move from insight to action, it may be time to step back and book a call to gain clarity on how to lead your team forward with greater intention.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What Is The Best Way For Leaders To Respond To Negative Feedback
A: The most effective response is to pause, acknowledge the feedback, and approach it with curiosity rather than defensiveness. Leaders who focus on understanding the team’s experience can turn feedback into a meaningful opportunity for trust and improvement.
Q: Why Do Leaders Become Defensive When Receiving Feedback
A: Defensiveness is a natural emotional response, especially when feedback feels personal. It often stems from identity, effort, or perceived fairness. However, reacting defensively can block learning and damage trust within the team.
Q: How Can Leaders Use Engagement Survey Results More Effectively?
A: Leaders can use engagement data as a starting point for deeper conversation. By inviting team input, asking open questions, and exploring the “why” behind results, they gain clearer insights into team dynamics and opportunities for change.
Q: What Role Does Accountability Play In Responding To Feedback?
A: Accountability builds credibility. When leaders acknowledge their part in team challenges, it signals ownership and sets a standard for others. This creates a culture where improvement is shared rather than avoided.
Q: How Do Leaders Rebuild Trust After Poor Feedback?
A: Trust is rebuilt through consistent action. Leaders must follow through on commitments, keep communication open, and involve the team in solutions. Ongoing dialogue matters more than one-off responses.
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