Have you ever worked somewhere two senior executives couldn’t get along?
You could feel the tension in meetings. You knew which topics would trigger disagreement. You found yourself thinking carefully about who to consult before making a decision, knowing that involving one could upset the other.
And eventually, you learned to work around it.
I was speaking with a CEO recently about two executives in exactly this situation. Both were experienced, capable and committed. One valued pace and decisiveness, the other consultation and time to think things through. Each was convinced their way was the right one, and neither showed much interest in changing.
For the leaders around them, this creates a difficult environment. People spend energy anticipating reactions, navigating sensitivities and managing competing expectations. A straightforward decision gets complicated by how each executive might respond.
The impact is subtle at first. You stop raising certain issues because you know where the conversation will go. You have separate discussions with each executive to avoid an uncomfortable exchange. You start filtering information to reduce the chance of disagreement.
Over time, those small adjustments become part of how the organisation operates. That’s where executive conflict starts shaping culture.
Albert Bandura’s work on social learning shows how much we learn by watching others, and senior leaders are the most visible examples of what’s acceptable. When executives handle disagreement respectfully, they set the expectation for everyone else. When they model defensiveness, avoidance or ongoing personal conflict, that spreads too.
So what can you do in the middle of it?
Start with what’s in your control. You have little influence over the relationship between two executives. You do choose how you respond to the tension.
Avoid becoming the messenger between them or taking on responsibility for their relationship. Where you can, bring conversations back to shared objectives, agreed priorities and the decisions that need to be made.
Watch your own assumptions. A stronger relationship with one executive doesn’t make their version of events more accurate.
And resist reproducing the same behaviour in your own team. Your people are watching how you handle pressure, disagreement and difficult relationships, just as you’re watching the executives above you.
We don’t get to choose the personalities or leadership styles of everyone we work with. Working productively with people who think very differently takes curiosity, self-awareness and a willingness to look at how our behaviour affects others. You may never fully understand someone else’s way of thinking, and you can still choose to work with them constructively.
That’s deliberate leadership: taking responsibility for the quality of your working relationships, even when the other person makes it difficult.
If you’re navigating tension above you, filtering what you say in meetings or carrying more of a difficult relationship than you should, I’d be glad to talk it through. Book a conversation.
