In a coaching session earlier this year, a leader told me,
“I think I’ve outgrown my own story.”
She said it with a mix of clarity and discomfort – the kind that shows up when you realise the narrative you’ve been living no longer fits who you’re becoming.
We all carry stories about ourselves as leaders:
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I’m the fixer.
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I’m the steady one.
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I’m the one who rescues everyone.
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I’m the quiet one.
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I’m the glue.
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I’m the one who can’t say no.
These stories are familiar.
They feel safe.
But sometimes they quietly limit us.
What makes a story sticky is that it once served a purpose. It helped you succeed in a certain season – but seasons change. And leadership requires renewal.
When I run leadership programs, this theme appears again and again: the practices that once made you effective can become the very things that hold you back.
The “go-to strengths” that protected you early in your career may now be constraining your impact.
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A leader who built her reputation on being the reliable workhorse realises she’s become the bottleneck.
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A leader known for being the peacemaker realises they’ve lost their voice.
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A leader who built trust by saying yes discovers they’re drowning in commitments.
The gift – and challenge – of leadership is recognising when it’s time to rewrite the chapter.
If you sense you’ve outgrown an old narrative, consider:
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What story have I been living that no longer reflects who I am?
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What would the next chapter require of me?
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What strengths need upgrading, and which habits need softening?
Leadership is not a fixed identity. It’s a continual authorship.
And you get to choose the story you lead from next.
If you’re finding yourself paused between the story that got you here and the one you’re ready to grow into, you don’t have to navigate that transition alone. Coaching offers a structured space to examine the narratives you’re carrying – and intentionally shape the next chapter of your leadership. Learn more about coaching at The Deliberate Leader
