Many leaders I work with share a similar tension: they’re brilliant at driving results, but when it comes to building connection, things feel less natural. The assumption is often, “I’m just not wired that way.”
But connection isn’t about personality – it’s about deliberate skills
that allow you to maintain pace and strengthen relationships.
Here’s a recent case study that shows how one leader shifted from transactional to relational leadership – without oversharing, slowing down, or becoming someone they’re not.
Context
A General Manager in a national services organisation came to coaching with a clear pattern: exceptional delivery in high-pressure, task-focused environments, but friction when teams needed more relationship and support.
Their Clarity4D profile showed very high red (driving tasks, decisions, results) and comparatively lower yellow (social/relational energy), with good green (empathy) available but under-used.
The Challenge
“How do I maintain efficiency without getting dragged into small talk – and without oversharing?”
The leader valued privacy, found non-work chat awkward, and worried that showing interest would create an obligation to disclose personal details. A recent tension with a team member surfaced the issues: slower buy-in, reduced psychological safety, and missed discretionary effort.
What we did (Leader as Coach micro-skills)
- Ask before you tell: Swapped interrogations for openers: “What’s feeling clear/unclear?” or “What support would make this easier?”
- Learner mindset: Practiced curiosity without reciprocity pressure – listening for drivers (autonomy, mastery, purpose) and reflecting back what was heard.
- Increase warmth: Prepared neutral, non-oversharing phrases (“Busy family weekend – how was yours?”) to model connection without oversharing.
- More Empathy: Invested 90 second relational check-ins before shifting to task – anchoring empathy without losing momentum.
- Prompts & nudges: Post-it cues on screen (“Ask open questions”, “Name one strength”) to make new habits visible in the moment.
- Reframe the ROI: Treat social capital as a short-term investment that compounds into speed, trust, and performance.
Early shifts observed (within weeks)
- 1:1s moved from transactional to collaborative; the previously disengaged team member re-opened dialogue.
- Better diagnosis before direction reduced rework; decisions were faster because concerns surfaced earlier.
- The leader reported feeling “in control, not exposed” – privacy intact, connection up.
- Team sentiment in hallway chats and huddles lifted; meetings started calmer, finished clearer.
Why this matters
Leaders don’t need to become someone they are not. They need a coach toolkit that converts empathy into execution: asking better questions, listening for motivation, and shaping clear next steps. Small behavioural shifts – done consistently – unlock trust and performance without adding meetings or diluting expectations.
Build These Skills in the October Leader as Coach Program
A practical, live program designed for time-poor leaders who want more engagement and ownership – without losing pace.
You’ll learn to:
- Ask catalytic questions that surface thinking and unblock momentum
- Coach in the flow of work (stand-ups, 1:1s, project checkpoints)
- Balance task clarity with connection – especially when stakes are high
- Build accountability that feels supportive, not soft
Perfect for leaders who are strong on delivery and ready to lift relational impact.
Interested?
