No leader enjoys getting negative feedback – especially when it comes through poor engagement survey results or confronting team feedback. The instinctive reaction? Defensiveness.
This happened recently for a leader I am working with. Their first thoughts were:
🗯 “They don’t see how hard I work.”
🗯 “That’s not fair.”
🗯 “They just want to complain.”
Totally normal. But not useful.
We took time to acknowledge the sting, process the reaction, and shift toward action. By the end, they landed here:
💭 “I’m going to get curious about the data and feedback.”
💭 “I will acknowledge that this is how they feel.”
💭 “I want to include them in the solution because this is a team issue.”
Defensiveness is a barrier – to connection, learning, and action. Deliberate leaders take a different approach. They pause, reflect, and respond – rather than react. Here’s how:
✨ Separate Yourself from the Score
Engagement feedback reflects the team’s experience – not your value as a leader. It’s tempting to take it personally, but the more useful stance is curiosity. What’s really going on for your team?
Ask: “What are they telling me about what it’s like to work here?”
🙏 Say Thank You (Even If It’s Hard)
Acknowledging feedback – without dismissing or defending – is a powerful first step. Share results openly and thank them for their honesty. This along builds trust.
Try: “This isn’t easy to hear, but I appreciate the honesty. Let’s talk about it and work on it together.”
🔍 Get Specific
Poor results are only helpful if you unpack them. Invite the team to help you understand the “why” behind the feedback. Use team meetings or one-on-ones to ask open questions. Listen more than you speak. You’re not solving in the moment – you’re seeking insight.
👬 Own Your Part
Your team doesn’t expect perfection, but they do expect accountability. If something could have been handled better, own it. Your example sets the tone for the team.
💡 Co-Create the Way Forward
Don’t fix it for your team – fix it with them.
Ask: “What’s one thing we could try together to improve this?”
Start small. Focus on what’s within your control. Follow through.
🔄 Keep the Conversation Going
Poor engagement isn’t solved by a one-time survey – it requires consistent, deliberate action. Keep checking in. Keep asking. Keep showing up.
Poor feedback isn’t a leadership failure – it’s a leadership opportunity. What matters is how you respond. So be deliberate. Let the sting settle, then lean into the work that matters.
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